


Breath Of Ember

by some_mad_lunge



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emmerdale Big Bang Round 3, M/M, Romance, Soul Bond, Soulmates, alternate universe - artist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-13 17:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21497650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_mad_lunge/pseuds/some_mad_lunge
Summary: In a society where you are defined by your element, Aaron Dingle has been marked by the rarest of them all: Fire. Still, he has built a contented life for himself even as he wages a war with the flame within him. That is until Robert Sugden, a mysterious Air, blows into his life and binds them in an Attachment unlike anything anyone could have expected.And like nothing Aaron could have ever prepared for.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle & Victoria Sugden, Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 50
Kudos: 142
Collections: Emmerdale Big Bang Round 3 2019





	1. Before

* * *

**“Most ** ** _Unattached _ ** **find themselves drawn to their element. Don’t fight it. Your need to be near the ocean or dig your hands in the garden is the same feeling that calls to your ** ** _Bondmate. _ ** **Follow the calling and it will open you up to the possibility of ** ** _Attachment_****.”**

**Elizabeth Goodall, ****Attachment and the Modern Single** **(2007) **

* * *

Aaron Dingle was many things, had always been so many things, yet under it all he was flame. He’d never wanted to admit it, even if he couldn’t avoid it. He had done his best to hide it most of his life.

He was surrounded by Earth and Water, destined to destroy or be destroyed by everyone around him. It wasn’t like any of them had a choice in it all. It didn’t stop his fear or the constant burn in his chest.

He’d hated the moment in grade school when he and his classmates sat across from the Crown Classifier, their destiny set when their element was revealed. He remembered girls being excited, daydreaming of mermaids and flowers. The boys pretending to be pirates and war heroes. Aaron just sat alone, always alone, flicking the Zippo lighter he’d nicked from his dad. He felt comfort with every spark. 

He knew he wasn’t like anyone else. His father was Earth; his mother, from what he remembered of her, may have been Water. He couldn’t place it for sure. She was a floating memory, a figment more than a person.

He’d sat across from the Classifier, a matronly looking woman with a severe bun and the Maker tattoo on her wrist. It was the mark of those who renounced their Soul Bond in service to the Maker and to the Crown. They bound themselves to an ideal instead of a person. It sounded lonely, or lonelier than the feeling Aaron was used to.

Aaron knew that when he was classified he’d be even more isolated. Fire was rare, an Attachment with another element rarer still. He had been born into solidarity and in a way he welcomed it. He was only 15; he still had time before he would ever have to worry that a touch could reveal his bondmate. Historically they never showed before you were 18. Not that it was that easy these days. Attachment was no longer the norm, more the exception. It didn’t stop the fairytales that everyone spun, or the Crown sponsored gatherings where people walked around rooms, offered skin in the hopes of finding their bondmate.

It could happen. It did happen. Just not to those marked by Fire. Not to Aaron.

He’d watched his friend Paul come out of the room, showing off the black bubbles that had appeared on his wrist. A proud Water who had a chance of so much more than Aaron ever would.

“Do you have an inkling young man?” The Classifier’s voice was soft, like she knew the answer but asked simply out of politeness.

“Fire.” He tried to hide the tremble in his words, he felt like a fraud. How could someone like Aaron be special?

She smiled, nodded her head. Her eyes shone with understanding.

“I’ve only seen this once before in my 20 years, but let’s find out for sure shall we?” He watched her find the right instrument, a thin piece of metal, blackened and charred. He offered up his hand but braced himself, as if it touching his skin could scar him or cause him pain. In a way it did both.

It hardly grazed his wrist when the black ink of flame danced itself into existence, his eternal mark, his element. The piece of Aaron that had been since the beginning of time, maybe even before. He wanted to feel pride, instead it was dread that filled his throat.

The Classifier hummed, a smile on her face. She scanned his wrist, typing into the tablet beside her. “You’re the first recorded Fire in this part of the country in over a decade.” She said it like he’d done something to be proud of, like he had any real choice at all.

He just stared at her mark, covered by the Maker symbol. It was unreadable, who she had been destined to be. He wondered what her classification had been, before she became someone else. She caught him looking and offered him another smile.

“See, you always have another path to take, Aaron Dingle, even when it doesn’t feel like it. We are never without options.”

It would be another decade before Aaron understood what she meant.

* * *

**“All Attachments are to be registered with the Crown within 60 days of reveal. This is to ensure legal bonds and prevent illegal or counterfeit markings. The Crown only wishes to encourage healthy Attachment and record them for posterity and future generations. In the event that your markings appear and you have not identified who your bondmate is, you can be connected via the Registry Department after the 60 day period.”**

**United Kingdom Registry Office, ** **Attachment Rules and Regulations****(Updated 2010) **

* * *

Aaron shut off his gas line at the sound of insistent knocking, flipped up his mask and grunted loud enough to allow entrance. It was Victoria with a sunny smile on her face and a takeaway container in her hand.

“Chas sent me down with a meal, she figured you hadn’t eaten in days.” She plopped the container on the workbench and crossed her arms. He watched her take in the progress he’d made on his newest piece, a commission for a rich couple overseas. They’d given him carte blanche, and he was making good headway with it.

“What’s it gonna be?”

“Art.” He never could keep from teasing Victoria, one of the few people in this world he liked, loved actually. She was Air, windswept and fresh, light and feeling. She’s been the first friend he’d made in Emmerdale all those years ago, the only one who stayed a friend.

Once he’d been classified, his father had taken one look at the mark and shipped him off to his mother. He’d ended up on a bus to Emmerdale, seeing her again for the first time in 10 years. 

“Fire destroys Earth. Your mother can control you.” His dad hadn’t even attempted to hide the contempt in his voice. 

She was a Water after all, and they clashed over most things. She never gave up on him though, even when he begged her to. He’d lost count of how many times he had. Until she’d thrust him into Old Man Forrest’s hands and set him on his path to figuring it all out. A semblance of peace he was eternally grateful for.

Victoria rolled her eyes at him, then rocked onto her tiptoes. Aaron knew what that meant, a favour was coming.

“Whatever it is, the answer is no.” He flipped his mask back down but her hand was on his tank before he could switch it back on.

“Please, you know I hate going to these things alone.” Even through the darkened visor, he could make out the pleading in her eyes.

“Then don’t go, it’s a waste of time, you know that.”

She bit her lip and he sighed. It was always the same with her.

She was one of those that believed in the Soul Bond, didn’t think marriage and a family was truly right without Attachment. It was stupid really, they’d both come from unattached parents. Sure those marriages hadn’t worked out but no one could blame that on anything other than the pigheaded people involved. Most marriages these days weren’t from Attachment and they lasted. Some of the time.

“Please Aaron, there are over 20 Airs signed up already. I have to try.” She always did, and when she walked away without anything she was never deterred.

“And?”

“And not one single Fire in the mix!” She knew he wasn’t looking, didn’t want to find, knew there was no point. He’d only ever met one other Fire in his life, and that had been more of a gift than he’d ever hoped to have.

“When is it?” He braced himself for the shriek of delight he knew would come. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders in a happy embrace.

“Next Saturday. It’s in Hotten.” She squeezed him tighter before stepping back. “Thank you Aaron, you’re the best.”

He mumbled his response and didn’t bother waiting for her to leave before he started up his torch again, losing himself in his work.

* * *

**“The last recorded mixed Attachment was in 1976 in Boston Massachusetts, USA. The pairing was Air (Male, age 40) and Earth (Female, 32). Two children were born of this union, both identified as Air at Classification. This finding, as well as other studies of historical mixed pairings has lead to the factual assumption that Fire and Air are the most dominant, and therefore the oldest, of Elements. However, Earth and Water are the most prevalent, making up over 75% of current recorded population.”**

**Dr Garrett C. Powell and The Element Advisory Board, ** **Elements in Society** **(2002) **

* * *

They’d taken a cab into town, the one good thing about these mixers being the free alcohol. It was all on the Crown’s dime. 

Attachment was good for the government; it meant stability and prosperity. Fancy words that glossed over their true meaning: control. Bonds had been fading out over the last 30 years, and everyone knew it was the population that was doing it. What were the actual chances of meeting your match down the road? Or across the country? Pretty nil.

They could be an ocean away. Even further than that. Governments had funded travels and even offered monetary bonuses if you chose to settle in your home country with you bondmate. It was bureaucratic bullshit sold as a love story.

Aaron didn’t bother looking at the offered armbands. He had his own. They never had a Fire symbol on hand, rare as they were. He stuck out like a sore thumb, the red of the fabric stark against the black of his jumper. Victoria wore a pale blue dress, her white bracelet letting all the Airs know she was one of them.

She squeezed his hand and left him to his own devices. He’d keep an eye out for her while he propped up the bar. He got a lot of lingering looks, from men and women alike, all with the same green Earth bands. Even a few blue Waters looked his way. It was always the same. Water wanted to consume him, Earth wanted to be ravaged by him. He’d have a better idea after some more pints which he was in the mood for.

He watched people clasp hands, hopes heightened and dashed in the same moment. He’d only ever witnessed one Attachment at a gathering like this. The man had smiled and the woman cried as they watched the mark bleed up their wrists to almost their elbows. It had looked like vines, ivy to symbolize their Earth connection. They were a mid-range match, there was no way to tell how many lifetimes before they had found each other. It wasn’t an exact science. All the Crown knew for sure was the further up you arms the markings went, the older the elemental bond. Or at least that was all they were telling.

Everyone knew a story, some even made the news. Just a few months ago in India, a Water match had caused a rainstorm inside a hall by the sheer force of their Attachment. They married a few hours later. If history repeated itself, they would die within days of each other. Once bound there was no other way.

The thought made Aaron sick. 

Victoria wasn’t having any luck, though there was one man, another Air, chatting her up. She could do worse. Even without Attachment, elemental pairings were usually a good fit, the core of them in harmony. 

Aaron didn’t want harmony. He wanted fire. It couldn’t be helped, it was who he was. 

But for now, a warm body would do.

He found it in an Earth, tall with brown hair, nice arms and lips worth kissing. He’d been tracking Aaron since he’d walked through the door, gaze fixed on the red band, hooded eyes running him up and down. 

He glanced over Victoria’s way, saw her shrug her shoulders and nod to the door, her question clear. He shook his head, prompting a crinkly smile in return and a wave of her fingers as she headed out. They’d done this many times before. She’d make her own way back and text him when she was safely home. They rarely left these things together, and he rarely left alone.

Not much later, he had a mouth around his dick as he braced against the stall door. He didn’t bother asking the Earth his name, just dug his fingers into the mess of hair and thrust his hips. It was in Aaron to consume, to take, it was all that was ever asked of him. Probably all he was good for. Maybe all he ever would be.

He left alone a short while later, content with the aftermath and a number in his pocket he would never call.

* * *

** **

**Attachment United Kingdom,** ** Advertisement**** (2018)**

* * *

His piece was complete, two days of no sleep and a few more spark burns on his arms. He got lazy with protection when he was in the moment, twisting and burning metal to his whims. It was a raven, wings aloft in mid-flight, eyes glinted copper and claws around a fish, water still dripping from its scales. Air and Water, the couple who wanted a piece for their summer cabin in the Alps.

It was alive in it its jagged lines and symbolism, beautiful in its opposition. Elements that warred against each other, and yet kept the balance of the world they lived in.

He pulled a beer from the small fridge in his studio, looked out into the night sky and allowed himself a moment of relief for a job well done. Then he raised his can and said his thanks, like he did every time. Like he always would.

“I miss you Old Man. Hope she’s with you.”

* * *

**“All unattached pairings must have a plan for the future. If you decide to marry, join property or have children, a legal contract should be in place in case Attachment presents itself later on. Accepting this in the beginning will make your eventual separation easier on all parties. Remember, without Attachment, there are no guarantees.”**

**Living Unbound Magazine, ** **Unattached and Married: What You Should Know**** (November 2015) **

* * *

After about 12 hours of sleep and a long hot shower, he showed his face at the Woolpack, thankful for the warm spring evening. Even though Aaron ran hot, he always wore long sleeves, preferring to conceal the flame on his wrist from the looks it inspired in others.

He took a seat at the bar, it was busy enough for a Thursday evening. His Mum shot him a wink from across the way, pouring his Nan a glass of red. It wasn’t long before she was patting his arm and sliding a pint his way.

They’d had a rough go 10 years prior when Aaron had shown up on her doorstep, bags and attitude in hand. Fire and Water, it amazed him that he could be her son at all in the beginning. Instead of trying to squash the spark in him like his father had, she’d pushed him to let it out. She’d begged Old Man Forrest to take Aaron under his wing, promised him he’d never have to pay for a pint again if he could set her son to rights.

Aaron would never forget the first day he met the man who would change his life, make him feel understood. He had deep laugh lines, a settled nature to him that Aaron never thought a Fire could possess. It calmed him, gave him hope.

He’d looked Aaron up and down, nodded his head and offered up a hot calloused hand for a shake. An hour later Aaron had the torch in his fist for the first time, his path firmly set. His element happy to have found a place to smolder.

Forrest had taught him to weld, to create and shape, to use his natural gift with ease and patience. He never pried, never batted an eye when Aaron shared his sexual orientation. Attachment came in many pairings, it was the way of the world. The Maker created you as you should be, from the elements that sustained the soul and gave you life. Still Aaron fought with the Fire inside him, pushed at it, tried to channel the intensity of who he was.

“Aaron, Fire is just a part of you, you are made of so much. There is beauty in all of it if you let yourself see it.” How many times had Aaron heard Forrest say those words to him? What he wouldn’t give to hear them on more time.

It had been over two years since they’d lost him to cancer, the kind he could have fought if he’d wanted to, battled for a few more years of living. Still Forrest had his reasons, and Aaron couldn’t deny the man his right to choose. It was one of the few they were given.

Forrest had left Aaron everything, his home, his studio, all he had in the world. Aaron lived every day to make him proud, but he always felt like he was falling short of the mark. His greatest fear was that he always would.

“Vic working tonight?” He asked Marlon when his burger was delivered. His cousin, an Earth that did wonders with ingredients, could make anything taste like heaven.

“Nope, date I believe.”

Marlon slipped away and Aaron frowned to himself. He knew she was getting antsy, wanting to start a family and settle down. No matter how he teased her, he didn’t want her to give up on finding her bondmate entirely. If anyone deserved it, if anyone was worthy of it, than it was Victoria Sugden. Then again, he was glad she was facing reality.

He’d keep watch over her, he always did.

* * *

**“Fire Elements are known for intense emotion and loyalty. Do not betray the Fire in your life, or try to control it. It’s a game you cannot win.”**

**Daniel Wilkinson, ** **The Fire Within****(1999)**

* * *

“What do you think, Son? Worthy of the sale?” Forrest crossed his arms over his chest, gave a lift of his eyebrows.

“They’re willing to pay what you’re asking, don’t see the harm.” Aaron had never understood Forrest’s need to find the right buyer for his work. If they wanted it, were willing to spend, what more was there to it?

“You’re young yet, you haven’t put your soul into it all. You can’t just give the pieces of yourself away to anyone, no matter the price.”

Forrest ended up donating the piece in the end, to a park attached to a home for troubled youth. The kind of place Aaron would have ended up if not for the influence of the man himself. A place Aaron sent a hefty sum to every year in the Old Man’s name.

Everyone should have a place to feel safe and accepted. 

_A choice._

* * *

**“Water is in every facet of life and existence, the base element of us all. Everyone of us has water, but only Water Elements have the traits to soothe and calm, rage and roll over. Harmony can be found with all other elements, though Attachment outside your classification is almost entirely non-existent. Love, however, is in your veins. Don’t fear it.”**

**Felicity Kahn, ** **Live Like Water** ** (1978)**

* * *

Victoria’s text had stated it was urgent, so Aaron hadn’t bothered to change out of his sweaty tee and jeans covered in char. He walked into her place like he always did, slamming the door to announce his arrival. He found her curled on the couch, steaming cup of tea in hand. She’d been crying, and he tapped down his rage.

“Vic, what happened?” He tugged her into his chest, let her rub her face against his shirt, hoped she didn’t get smudge marks on her cheeks. “Who do I have to murder?”

“Gregg mentioned marriage, wants to draw up a contract.” Her sniffles confused him; they’d been seeing each other for months. Aaron had even vetted him one night over dinner. Gregg was an alright bloke, maybe a little bland, but that was an Earth for you.

“I thought that’s what you wanted. It’s okay to change your mind.” He’d have her back, always.

“I thought it was too, but I told Robert and he went crazy. Said he’s coming home, that he has something to show me. Said I can’t give up, and that he’d prove to me why.”

Robert Sugden, the black sheep of the family who’d left Emmerdale before Aaron arrived. He’d heard enough about the man, how he’d broken hearts before he left, how he traveled around the world and broke even more. Victoria adored him, and Aaron didn’t have a right to judge, at least not until this moment. Not until he was making Aaron’s best friend a muddled mess.

“You know your own mind Vic, he’s just being an arrogant prick. He can’t make you do anything you don’t want to. I’ll make sure of it.”

He pulled her close, made a plan to set Robert Sugden straight. Victoria’s love was a gift that Aaron Dingle didn’t deserve. Neither did Robert from the sounds of it.

* * *

**“Earth is it’s own worst enemy. You yearn for stability but wish to be molded, shaped and cherished. Allow yourself to be grounded, do not reach for the things you know will do you harm. Play with Fire, and you will burn.”**

**Dr. Paulette Le Roux, ** **Earth Unbound****(2015)**

* * *

Victoria had been a bundle of nerves, putting off Gregg and preparing for Robert’s arrival. It sounded like the idiot was planning to come back to Emmerdale for a long while, probably to keep Victoria under his thumb. It pissed Aaron off, evident in the metal he was currently twisting, creating jagged spikes protecting a cloud, thin delicate brass surrounded by iron. 

Aaron got as much info about Robert as he could before his arrival. He needed a loaded arsenal. He had money, though Victoria wasn’t entirely clear on how he made it. Something to do with computers and the stock market. Sounded risky to Aaron, just as risky as putting your life on hold for a chance at Attachment.

Aaron had attempted to find Robert on social media but all his accounts were private. The only photo he’d seen was half a face concealed by windswept blond hair and dark sunglasses, the sky blue and clear behind him. Victoria said he was into extreme sports, skydiving, even mountain climbing. Robert loved exhilaration, the chase.

Not the kind of Air sign that Aaron preferred. He’d met a few over the years, they could be unpredictable sometimes. Aaron would have to be prepared for anything. It was no matter, he’d put this one in his place. It was something he was actually looking forward to.

Vic had texted him earlier and insisted that he meet her and Robert for drinks. Her brother wanted to get an eye on the friend who supported his sister in her logical conclusion to give up on Attachment. 

Was that why Robert Sugden was always traveling the world? Was he one of those blokes who wouldn’t settle without a Bond? It was probably an excuse. So many refused commitment, stating Attachment as the reason. It was an easy game, take without expectation, empty promises because of predetermined markings on skin. 

Yeah, Aaron hated Robert Sugden on principle.

He was Fire and had yet to meet an element he couldn’t control to his liking. So he dressed the part, fitted black jumper with his best black jeans. Hair in place, scruff cleaned up. He sat at the bar with his sleeves up his forearms. For once he wanted his mark on display, wanted Robert to see who had the power here.

He watched the door and waited, ready to turn his bemused smile into a scowl at the appropriate moment. He heard Vic’s nervous laugh before they walked in. As soon as he saw the tall blonde with broad shoulders and a lazy smirk, he knew.

_He knew._

* * *

**“Air Elements are the least predictable, and the hardest to pin down. They can be steadfast or flighty. They can be strong minded or weak willed. Each Air is their own person, and nothing but time will reveal their intentions.”**

**Ishmael Terrif, ****The Unexpected Element** ** (1986)**

* * *

“She’s out there somewhere.” Forrest coughed, the man who had always been larger than life now a shell of himself. Aaron had snuck in some beers and a takeaway from the Old Man’s favourite fish and chips place in town. He’d barely touched it, there wasn’t much time left.

“You don’t know that.” Aaron didn’t want Forrest to have any regrets, not after all he’d done for him. Not after everything.

“Saw her once, 30 years ago. She had long black hair, a little baby on her hip. I heard a laugh and I felt it, before I saw her face I knew.” He sipped his beer, wiped at his mouth, his eyes far away.

“Didn’t seem right, she’d made her choice. Had a ring on her finger and a child in her arms. I didn’t want to take that from her. It was enough, knowing she existed. She never saw me, I made sure of it. We’ve been together before, we’ll be together again. We don’t win every round do we, Son?”

Aaron had said nothing, knew his mentor’s mind wasn’t clear, not with the pain meds they gave him to keep him as comfortable as possible. Aaron let Forrest have his daydream. It was the least he could do.

* * *

**“The current information on mixed elemental Attachments is seriously lacking in modern times. Such pairings are rare, and have been throughout history. Most all mixed elemental pairings contain one Air Element and never a Water Element. Our goal is that with current registries we can hope to better understand. Were these elements one before splitting? Does this prove the Hierarchy Theory currently being tested in the United States? Hopefully we’ll have those answers in the future.”**

**Dr Miles Kirkpatrick, ** **Modern Science****(2018)**


	2. After

It was like lightning in his veins, a rush of adrenaline that had his pulse racing at breakneck speed. His fingers itched. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the curve of Robert’s jaw, overcome with the urge to press his mouth to it.

He heard Vic, in a far off voice as they stood in front of him. Aaron was thankful he was leaning on the bar, he felt like he was going to fall over. He felt too many things at once, unsteady, excited, liberated. 

_Afraid._

Robert looked at him, locked their eyes together and offered up his hand. Aaron didn’t move, couldn’t. He didn’t want this, couldn’t imagine being without it. This wasn’t supposed to happen, not to him. This wasn’t for him.

He felt Robert’s sigh against his face, like a caress, a promise. His words were delicate, soft.

“I’m sorry.”

That voice was like a song Aaron had known the melody to his entire life. It stunned him, kept him frozen in place, long enough for Robert’s hand to cup his cheek, thumb to brush against his lips for a moment.

He heard glass shatter, felt the force of the air move around them. Robert’s eyes never wavered from his. Not as the gasps sounded around them. Not as Victoria’s hair blew against her shocked face. Not when he heard his mother’s laughter of delight. Not when his heart pounded in time with another’s, the rhythm like coming home.

Aaron felt the heat go up his arms, tendrils that twisted and turned up his shoulders and across his chest. It hurt, and yet it soothed, a balm against the world. Something locked inside him, something sure.

_ Mine. _

He covered the hand on his cheek with his own and breathed the cleanest air he’d ever known. 

* * *

**You’ll Accompany Me** ** \- Bob Seger (1980)** ****

* * *

The pub emptied quickly There were mutterings of congratulations, but they were lost to Aaron. He saw nothing but the green of Robert’s eyes, the sprinkle of freckles across his nose, the rich sweep of his lashes. It was his whole world in that moment. He pressed his lips to the thumb still resting there, felt a rush through his whole body, the tremor in Robert’s hand.

“You knew!” It was Victoria, her arms that pulled Robert’s skin away. Aaron ached at the loss as he shook himself back to reality. “You must have known. You asked me about him for years, but how, you never met him?” 

“Victoria, please…” Robert’s voice, it made Aaron’s stomach do flips, want to unfurl low in his belly.

Aaron looked down at his arms, swirls of black, ran from the back of his hands up into his jumper. He could feel the mark past his shoulders, he rubbed at his chest. It still burned.

“How did you know, Robert? When did you know?” She was almost frantic and Aaron came back to himself. His friend, she sounded mournful, like she was in pain. His need to protect reared its head. The Fire was sparking.

“Aaron? Luv, are you okay?”

His mother was there as Robert’s eyes swept over him. He moved forward as Aaron instinctively stepped back. Robert’s wince was immediate, and Aaron felt it, a wave of loss and disappointment.

“Dad’s funeral, Vic. I came but I never let anyone see me.” He spoke to his sister but his eyes, they drank in every inch of Aaron’s face.

“Five years?” Aaron knew his voice was accusing, knew his control was snapping. That long, his bondmate had left him on his own for five years. Left him believing there was nothing for him in the world but loneliness and moments of dull lust. Abandoned him. Walked away.

Only to come back and take Aaron’s choice away again.

“Aaron, you were so young.” Robert pleaded, his need and longing wrapped Aaron to the point of suffocation.

“So you came back to prove a point? All this so Victoria wouldn’t marry Gregg? You don’t want me. You don’t want this.” Aaron felt something inside him shudder. He tried to use his element and sever the connection, but it was failing. His Fire never failed Aaron, never.

“Aaron, I can explain.” Robert reached for him again, but Aaron turned and walked away. Ignored his mother’s voice. Ignored Robert’s pull. Ignored his own heart’s cry for him to go back where he rightfully belonged.

* * *

**I've seen fire and I've seen rain  
** **I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end  
** **I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend  
** **But I always thought that I'd see you again**

**Fire and Rain** ** \- James Taylor (1970)**

* * *

“I’m going to miss you, Son.” 

Aaron looked at the face he knew so well.

“I’m a part of you, Forrest, Fire always is.” Aaron patted his hand. They’d never been ones for open affection, never needed displays of it to know the love was there, the respect.

“Oh no, you are part of something greater still. My only regret is that I’ll never get to see it.” Forrest turned his palm over, calloused fingers curled around Aaron’s as he watched those eyes close for the last time.

* * *

**Once I caught a glimpse  
** **Of your unguarded, untouched heart  
** **Our fingertips touched and then  
** **My mind tore us apart**

**I Can’t Reach You ** **\- The Who (1967)**

* * *

Aaron went straight to his studio, fumbled with his keys when he glimpsed the new black on his skin. There was no denying it, no matter how much he wanted to. Once inside he made for the small bathroom, flicking on the harsh fluorescent lights before standing in front of the mirror. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes as he pulled his jumper over his head. He let it fall from his hands, braced against the sink. 

_ One, two, three. _

When he opened his eyes his mouth gaped open, hands raising to the black smudges that had nothing to do with his work and everything to do with Robert Sugden. 

Smoke, swirls of it, twirled up his arms and onto his shoulders on both sides, mirror images of each other. It curled over his pecs, so close to meeting in the centre, inching towards his heart. It crept near his neck, would be visible if he ever wore a low collar. He’d never heard of a marking going this far, didn’t know it was possible. Hadn’t dared to imagine it.

He’d never seen the symbols of an unmatched Attachment, had never thought what they could create. Smoke, the aftereffects of Fire, when Air sucked the life from it or before it lit it to a roaring blaze. He was altered because of Robert, and a part of Aaron hated him for it.

He sensed him then, knew the knock would come before he heard it. It was a hollow thump in the quiet. 

Aaron's pulse picked up, the hair on his arms danced on his skin, like a breeze washing over. He wondered if it was a sensation he would need to get used to.

He didn’t bother putting his shirt back on. He knew why Robert was here. They both needed the confirmation, proof the lines were identical. Necessary even though Aaron couldn’t imagine it going any other way.

He leaned against the bathroom door frame, arms crossed, hoped his Fire would not let him down again.

“Come in.”

Robert stepped in with his head high, but his eyes gave him away, as did the swell of heat in the room. The lust was obvious, Aaron was almost certain it would be even without the Attachment. That face was art, something he could only hope to create one day. No one could look at it and not feel a desire to trace their fingertips along the strong jaw, skim against the freckles, soothe the frown line on his brow. Robert was frustrated, and Aaron took some stubborn joy in it. He was not above pettiness, even though he rarely needed to be.

“There is so much I want to tell you.” 

Instantly Aaron knew he had lost, that Robert’s voice would always be his undoing. For now, he focused on his offence. Robert had a hold on him, but it went both ways. Aaron just had to find his footing.

“Show me, then we can talk.” Aaron demanded it, he needed to know for certain there was no going back. His heart knew, the Fire within him crackled in agreement, but his mind held a glimmer of hope that there was still some option to be had.

He watched Robert unbutton his shirt, already hanging loose from his trousers. Somewhere, a suit jacket lay cast aside. Robert had already checked his own skin, already had the answer Aaron so desperately sought. 

He wished he could say he looked only at the blackness that mimicked his own. Wished his eyes hadn’t taken in the expanse of chest, defined arms. Wished the Fire hadn’t sparked and danced, exhilarated at it’s prize. It was glowing inside him. Aaron’s hand reached forward to press over Robert’s heart before he could stop it. 

The air picked up in the room, caused blond hair to rustle as Robert sucked in a breath, almost as if Aaron had burned him. He curled his fingers slightly, eyes running along the body before him, the piece he’d always been missing. The piece he’d never dared to look for or hoped to find. A plethora of riches one man could never be worthy of.

Robert lifted his arm, made to touch Aaron in kind. The Fire licked and danced, ached with the desire to feel cool fingers against the heat. He pulled back instead, stubborn against the rush of blood that demanded satisfaction. Not yet. There was power in the waiting.

“We’ll talk tomorrow.” Aaron kept his voice level, though the words sounded more intimate than he would have liked. He saw Robert’s eyes darken, unhappy with the rules Aaron was already putting in place, the barriers he was erecting between them.

“You can’t run from this. You can’t run from _ me_.” Aaron almost believed him to be sincere. Almost.

“You did.” It was cutting, meant to make Robert hurt. He had started them with deception, a ploy to prove a point. The Fire within Aaron could only abide so much.

“I tried, Aaron, but I never could get far enough.” Shirt in hand, Robert walked back out the door. Aaron saw the inky smoke across his retreating shoulders before the click of the latch sucked the oxygen from the room.

* * *

**Fire wants to burn   
** **Water wants to flow   
** **Air wants to rise   
** **Earth wants to bind  
** **Chaos wants to devour**

**Cassandra Clare, The Iron Trial** ** (2014)**

* * *

Aaron barely slept; he couldn’t calm his mind or the empty feeling creeping inside him. Normally on nights when sleep was elusive, he’d find solace in his work, but he knew avoidance wasn’t the answer. He would have to face Robert head on now. 

Eventually he had confusing dreams of smoke and flames, the dance of grass in a wind struck field. He woke covered in sweat and his mobile pinging on his bedside table. It was a text with three simple words, a command from his Uncle Cain.

**Let me in.**

Aaron pulled on his joggers, wished he could have a shower and possibly turn back the clock 24 hours before facing the head of his family. A strong Water and the one person who could get Aaron to do anything. Uncle Cain was a powerful force. He was also the only Dingle to have found his bondmate. Until yesterday. Until now.

He took the takeaway cup shoved into his hand as Cain entered, eyes darting around Aaron’s small house. It wasn’t much, Forrest hadn’t needed more than a place to rest his head or somewhere to sit with a cup of tea by the fire. His studio had been his real home, was Aaron’s now. Had been since he was 16.

“It’s true then?” Cain was eyeing Aaron’s chest, tracking up his arms. Cain’s markings, foamed waves identical to his wife Moira’s, barely ran halfway up his forearm. Weirdly it filled Aaron with pride that his Attachment was so much stronger.

Aaron didn’t bother to respond to Cain’s question, just flopped onto his sofa, buried his head into his hands.

“Someone reported it; it was in the news this morning.” The sympathy in Cain’s voice was obvious.

“Shit.” Aaron had known that it would get out. He and Robert, well they’d put on a show, hadn’t they? Such an elemental reaction would be reported to the Registry. Thankfully, there were laws that protected names and exact locations. The Crown knew, which meant the countdown to registration had begun. Aaron didn’t even want to think that far ahead. They had some time.

“The pub is closed today. Gonna take some time to clean up the mess. Your Mum is worried about you. Happy for you, but worried.” Cain just leveled him with that bullshit free stare. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about how Aaron felt, he did, but he was asking what Aaron was going to do about it.

“I’ll go help her make it right.” Aaron rubbed at his face. It was the least he could do.

“The family has it covered. You have more important things to worry about. The question is, do we need to cover you too?”

“Did it feel like this with Moira?” Aaron wished he had someone else to give him the answers, but Cain would be straight with him.

“Like the best thing and the worst thing had happened to me all at once? Yeah.” Aaron remembered the splitting up of two families, a husband and wife who walked away from their once separate lives. An errant brushing of hands led to an Attachment that threw their worlds into turmoil. Eventually it all settled down, and they were solid, his uncle and aunt and the life they’d built. They’d figured it out, they were happy. Maybe not a fairytale life but one Aaron could admit to having been envious of.

“Did you know the first time you saw her? Before you touched?” Because that was what bothered Aaron the most, the expectation of what would happen when Robert’s skin met his. He’d never heard of it before Forrest’s ramblings, now he wasn’t sure if his Attachment was going to follow any of the rules he’d grown up learning.

Cain just shook his head, “Not sure I would have let myself touch her if I did.” The truth, at least, came easy in this. Cain had loved his wife, but Moira, she’d become everything to him. Didn’t mean the pain their Attachment had caused others hadn’t left some wounds that would never entirely heal. Moira’s children had left with their father, only now starting to rebuild their relationship with their mother.

Aaron, at the very least, had spared anyone else pain. No, this was his alone, his and Robert’s. The only ones they could hurt was each other. The real question would be how much.

* * *

**Don't leave me, even for an hour, because   
** **then the little drops of anguish will all run together,   
** **the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift   
** **into me, choking my lost heart. **

**Pablo Neruda,** **Don't Go Far Off, Not Even For A Day** **(1965)**

* * *

After Cain left, Aaron didn’t waste time. Last night had been about showing he wasn’t going to be led around. Now he would go to Robert and ask the questions. There was no other way about it.

He was anxious as he walked to Victoria’s cottage, his feet knew the way but the Fire was restless. It knew where they were going, what they were finally about to do. It was impatient to be near Robert again.

He knocked on the door and waited, something he could never remember doing before. He hadn’t expected Victoria to be the one to answer, to be wrapped up in her arms as she nestled a head under his chin. It was comforting but not what he was here for. Something in him whined in annoyance as he squeezed her back.

“I’m so sorry how I reacted…” The rest of the words were muffled in his long sleeved Henley. He pulled away and made her meet his eyes.

“It was a lot. It still is.” 

She smiled at him, pulled him inside and grabbed her purse.

“He’s been waiting for you all morning. I don’t think he slept much last night.” She rubbed at his arm. “Looks like he wasn’t the only one. Good luck.” 

When she left, the lightness in the air, the freshness, was gone. It was heavy, thick and all Robert. Aaron found him standing tall as he looked out the sitting room window. He wore jeans this time, a maroon jumper that outlined the curve of his back. Aaron could make out a few wisps of black peeking out at the neck. He felt it again, that pride in his bondmate. This was all his. 

He waited, shoved his hands in his jean’s pockets and tried to be as relaxed as possible. It was Robert’s turn to make Aaron wait. The Fire in him couldn’t help but respect the show of strength. It was excited for the game it recognized, had played before, even if Aaron hadn’t.

How many times had they done this together? How many lifetimes? Aaron focused on the man in front of him and let his want float free.

_ I missed you_.

“So you’ve forgiven me then?” Robert turned as he spoke. His jaw was set, his lips a firm line that Aaron suddenly wanted to recreate in silver and gold. He could see it in his mind’s eye, a gallery filled with his work, all pieces of Robert on display.

“I don’t know if there is anything to forgive. You had years to prepare for this. I had a lifetime of believing it wasn’t meant for me. Can you blame me for being confused? Angry?” Aaron laid it out, open and honest. They were bondmates; he didn’t want to be any other way. He knew it wouldn’t work otherwise.

Regret was there in Robert’s green eyes, a pleading Aaron didn't know how to ignore. He wanted to understand, find a logical place to tuck away everything he felt. Something inside Aaron shifted, his legs moving him before he could think too hard about it. He stopped just a breath away, hands resting on Robert’s waist. His eyes searched Robert’s face, looked for any sign that this wasn’t wanted. He found none and the Fire crackled to life, eager to race with the wind. Instead Aaron waited, the next move wasn’t his.

He closed his eyes as fingers curled into his biceps and cool air brushed against his face. They stood there, foreheads pressed together as pictures swirled through his mind. Moments of pain and loss, wonder and excitement. Another life, another Aaron and Robert. Too many to count. So much joy that his heart sputtered and the Fire glowed. 

Aaron wanted to press their lips together, fall into the moments they’d lived before, forget the answers he needed and the uncertainty he still felt around the bubble of this moment. The Fire was sure but Aaron was still wary.

It was Robert who finally stepped away; Aaron knew it was in self preservation. There wasn’t much they’d be able to keep from each other. That part of their future was crystal clear.

“I didn’t believe it at first. I wouldn’t let myself,” Robert spoke gently, as he moved to sit on the sofa, back straight. He seemed nervous, unsure where to put his hands until Aaron sat beside him, linked them together with his own. He squeezed, urging Robert to continue.

“I saw you with your arm around Victoria at my father’s graveside. I thought you two were together. I was a mess over my dad, over a lot of things. It was weeks later before I let myself think of you again. And I did, every single day. I got over myself enough to call Vic, she told me all about you, her best friend.” Robert kept his eyes down at their hands, seemed fascinated at how easily they locked together.

“I convinced myself it was lust or confusion. In all the stories, in everything, no one ever said…” Robert’s voice trailed off, the pain obvious.

Aaron decided in that moment to let it go, there were no guidebooks for them. Nothing they learned in school, no myths or legends, it was never like this. It just couldn’t be.

“But don’t think I don’t ever want this. That I don’t want you, us. It wasn’t about that.” Robert looked at him finally and everything else fell away. Whatever they had been before, separately, well that was over now. The Fire in him swirled.

_He wants us. We’re his._

“We have to register.” Aaron didn’t know why he chose to say that. In the grand scheme of things it was of little concern. 

Robert wrinkled his nose and rolled his eyes. “Obviously.” 

Aaron didn’t expect the laughter to come rolling out, but he was finally giddy, maybe a little mad with it. This was actually happening to him.

Robert just looked at him in amazement. Aaron had to resist the urge to lean forward and tuck his face into that neck, just breathe. Be content in the moment and take something he’d never had before.

“Then we get to know each other.” Aaron needed time, even as the Fire complained, moved through his limbs and demanded to just accept what was offered. Once again at war with the limitations Aaron put on it. 

Robert pressed his shoulder to Aaron’s and sighed, “Okay.”

* * *

**The Air That I Breathe ** **\- The Hollies (1989)**

* * *

Leaving Robert had twinged, but Aaron settled himself with the knowledge they’d be spending the evening together. A meal, time to talk about their lives, who they were outside of the elements that bound them. He had a date with his bondmate, how did one prepare for that?

He made his way to the pub, ignored the sign that stated it was closed until further notice, and took in the damage they’d caused. It was a lot more than Aaron remembered. There was boarded up windows, empty shelves where bottles and glasses should be. Could their Attachment really have done all this?

He found his Mum in the back, papers in hand and a smile on her face. She seemed shocked to see him.

“Luv, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Robert?” She had a tilt to her voice, he’d never heard her sound so thrilled.

“I just saw him. I’m so sorry for what happened.” The Fire in him disagreed, relished in the show of power for all the village to witness.

“Don’t be daft. It’s what insurance is for, besides I got to see my boy’s Attachment. All mothers should be so lucky.” She patted his cheek, the pride evident. It bothered him a bit, that she’d feel that way about something he had no control over.

“Well, I guess that’s what you get when you bond with an Air, aye.” He downplayed it, didn’t want to address the magnitude to which his entire life had changed. He couldn’t go there, not when he didn’t know what it meant.

She gave him a puzzled look before her face brightened again. “Oh you didn’t see it, did you? Of course not, in the moment like you were. Aaron, he touched you and you burned, the both of you. Actual flames before the pulse of wind that shattered everything in sight. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.”

* * *

**My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me  
** **So won't you kill me, so I die happy  
** **My heart is yours to fill or burst**

**Hands Down** ** \- Dashboard Confessional (2002)**

* * *

“How do we do this?” Robert asked as he turned to look around Aaron’s house. He’d arrived on time, a bottle of wine in his hands, and a small grin on his face. The place seemed small with Robert there, the furniture worn and outdated. The wine probably cost more than the last pair of jeans Aaron bought, the one’s he was wearing now with his white Henley. He felt underdressed with Robert in a suit, mind fuzzy with thoughts of getting him out of it. He tried to focus and just shrugged in response, nervous he was going to get this all wrong.

“Nice place.” Robert didn’t mean it, but something in those eyes told Aaron that it could be. That they could make it a home together. 

“Yeah, well it does the job.” He’d lit a fire earlier even though it was a warm evening. He’d let it die down to embers, enough to comfort him, give him strength and make him feel sure in himself. He poured the wine, remembered it was supposed to breath or something but given that he was serving it up in chipped glasses he couldn’t bring himself to care.

He handed one to Robert, ignored the way his skin tingled where their fingers brushed and curled up on the sofa. He nervously took a sip and grimaced.

“Why does expensive wine always taste like shite?”

Robert rolled his eyes before turning his body towards Aaron’s. “So not a fan of the finer things in life then?” There was a superiority to that face, he was poking fun at Aaron. That wouldn’t do.

“Depends on your definition. I think a pint and a bacon sarny are fine enough.” 

Robert gave a hum as he sipped his wine, enjoying it much more than Aaron had. He leaned his head on his hand, stared over his glass and waited for Aaron to do something, say something. Aaron’s tongue felt thick in his mouth, his hands ached to just reach out. 

Suddenly he had to move, slamming his drink on the coffee table and getting to his feet. He was losing control, with Robert so close the Fire had enough of pleasantries. This wasn’t who they were; this wasn’t how they played. 

He paced around the room, while Robert continued to casually sip at his drink. Aaron wanted to muss up his perfect hair, break the veneer of calm that his bondmate had. How could he be so...whatever he was being?

“Are you done?” Robert’s tone was all smug assurance. He was enjoying this, watching Aaron flounder. The Fire in him hissed and snapped.

“Done with what?” He didn’t care that he sounded like a child throwing a tantrum. He was trying but he’d never been built for this. He wasn’t casual conversation and first dates with shy glances. He took and he gave, he burned and he didn’t know how to do this properly. He didn’t know how to do this at all.

Then Robert was in front of him, hands on his shoulders, fingers digging in. “Done being who you think you’re supposed to be in all this. I have to say for a Fire I’ve been disappointed.”

Aaron pulled out of his grasp. “You don’t know what you’re asking of me.” Because Robert didn’t. Aaron had spent his entire life moulding it, controlling it, keeping it in check. What could an Air know about it? What could Robert know about him?

“No, I don’t. Show me.” That voice, always with that damn voice. The Air picked up, the Fire in him took hold and for once he let it, welcomed it. Aaron grabbed a fist full of Robert’s shirt and pulled him in.

“I won’t apologize later.” A promise before Aaron pushed their mouths together.

* * *

**My love is the evenin' breeze touchin' your skin  
** **The gentle, sweet singin' of leaves in the wind  
** **The whisper that calls after you in the night  
** **And kisses your ear in the early moonlight  
** **And you don't need to wonder, you're doing fine  
** **My love, the pleasure's mine**

**Crazy On You** ** \- Heart (1975)**

* * *

He didn’t know what he expected from the harsh press of mouths, Robert’s lips cool against his. It was almost disappointing. Aaron thought the world would shift, thought it’d feel like more. He pulled back, but fingers to his face drew him in again. On instinct he demanded more, Robert’s tongue sweet against his own and...

Heat like he’d never known broke forth, moved through him as he reached for something to hold onto, to anchor him. Hands slipped under his shirt, firm fingers against his lower back and the Fire let go.

Because suddenly he wasn’t close enough, not when there was all this in his arms. The Fire was being fed and Aaron didn’t know if he’d survive it. He slid his fingers into soft hair, absorbed Robert’s groan of approval into his mouth and took over. 

This was what he’d been waiting his whole life for, wet heat and the world lost beyond the need to breathe Robert in. He shifted them until he was pressing his hips down on the thigh between his legs, losing Robert’s mouth to gasp in satisfaction. 

“Fuck, fuck.” Robert’s voice was hoarse as he bit at Aaron’s neck. It shot through him, nerves alight as he let his head fall back. “Aaron…”

“Shut up, shut up.” He didn’t want words, didn’t need them, not from that voice. It was all too much already. He got more teeth in reply, then a soothe of lips that almost made his knees buckle. He pulled at Robert’s hips, hissed when he felt him hard and exactly where he wanted him. 

He shoved them both, hands working at Robert’s shoulders as their lips met again. They were moving, knocking into a table, Aaron’s back pressed into a wall he wasn’t sure how they’d gotten to. He whimpered when Robert pulled away, knew losing his Henley would be worth it in the end but he cursed it just the same. He shoved Robert’s suit jacket off, dug his fingers into firm muscle. Then he fumbled at buttons that were just in the way. 

That mouth, Maker help him, Aaron wanted to offer up his soul in thanks to whoever created it. He gave up on the buttons, pulled at the ridiculously complicated shirt until it was open, arms winding around soft skin. It felt like silk under his rough hands, reminded him of cold iron before he bent it to his will.

Aaron wrapped a leg around him, tried to bring them closer together, needed it. A hand gripped around his thigh and the next thing he knew his feet were off the floor. For a second he thought he was flying, knew he was, until he opened his eyes and realized Robert was carrying him through the open bedroom door.

He felt weightless, and the Fire in him purred. He laughed into Robert’s mouth, kissed the smile he was rewarded with. He expected to be thrown on the bed, pressed into the mattress. Instead Robert slowly let him down, hands squeezed his ass before tugging at Aaron's belt.

There was that giddy feeling again, bubbling out of him, until his eyes focused in the low light on Robert’s chest. Swirls of smoke that meant something, that proved they were meant to be together. He realized then what was happening, where he was, who he was with. 

“Aaron?” Robert’s hands stilled as Aaron’s jeans fell, caught on his knees. Aaron shook his head, lifted his fingers to run across the lines, black except for where the light of the moon hit them. He’d heard of this, Attachment marks glowing in the moonlight. It was silver wisps, shining gently, another piece of magic he never thought he’d see. Never thought he’d be a part of.

Robert’s hands cupped the back of his neck, forced their eyes to meet. Aaron saw the concern, but could only respond with wonder.

“This is real, isn’t it?” He didn’t wait for a reply, just pressed his lips, open mouthed and soft, where Robert’s heart lay. It was Aaron’s now, his to protect, his to cherish. Every legend and fairy tale made sense in that moment, and yet didn’t say enough. How could it ever?

Robert captured his hand, pressed Aaron’s mark to his cheek, nuzzled there. It was just a moment, the kind he’d never forget, never wanted to. Then Robert turned his mouth to score his teeth into Aaron’s sensitive flesh, claim him, and the moment was gone. 

He scrambled onto the bed, kicked off the remainder of his clothes, watched Robert with hooded eyes as he shoved at his own trousers. Aaron almost hated how beautiful Robert looked when he crawled towards him, predatory and yet still shy, bit lip and bright eyes. It was endearing, but it wasn’t what he wanted. He needed the weight of Robert over him, the expanse of skin and time to explore it. 

Robert settled between Aaron’s thighs, brushed their noses together. He feathered kisses over Aaron’s cheek, words heavy in his ear, like he had read Aaron’s thoughts. Maybe he could.

“We have all the time in the world.”

* * *

**Urgent** ** \- Foreigner (1981)**

* * *

Aaron was pretty sure he blacked out, or possibly died from the pleasure of it and was brought back to life by the brush of fingers against his ribs. It was still dark, Robert half sprawled on him, legs tangled. The room smelled of sex and sweat, and it shouldn’t make him smile like it did. 

“What’s your favourite colour?” He felt the words against his shoulder, cool breath against still damp skin.

“What?” Because...what?

Robert pulled himself closer, pressed open mouth kisses across Aaron’s chest. “You wanted to get to know each other. So what’s your favourite colour?”

“Black”

“That’s not a colour.” 

Aaron twisted his head, impossibly green eyes so close it was like being trapped in the sea. “Yeah it is.”

“It’s a shade, not a colour.” Robert was one of those, a stickler for the rules when it suited him. Aaron nipped at his chin, was rewarded with a hiss.

“Let me guess, yours is blue.” Aaron knew he was right when Robert moved his hand to scratch against Aaron’s scalp. He couldn’t help but let himself stretch into the sensation.

“There’s nothing wrong with blue, Aaron.” And there wasn’t was there? Not when his fingers were tracing in the dip of Robert’s back, mapping stars and circles. Nothing at all.

“I mean at least it’s not something ridiculous like crimson or fuchsia.” Aaron teased as Robert huffed annoyance into his mouth, tongue seeking, tracing his lips like it held the key to shutting Aaron up. He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to the taste of Robert, crisp and spicy, intoxicating. 

He pulled back with a bite of his lip, shifted to press them chest to chest. “Okay, what’s your favourite movie?” Aaron could play the game too. He squeezed his fingers in Robert’s ass, was rewarded with a moan and a delicious press of hips.

“Not one, three. The Lord of the Rings trilogy.” Aaron stopped his hand, brought it up to cover his smirk. “What? They’re good movies.” He couldn’t help it, the sincerity of Robert’s words had him chuckling.

“Sure, if you’re a 13 year old boy.” He tried to dodge the swat to his head but they were too close and he was laughing too hard. “Maker help me, my bondmate’s a nerd.” He shouldn’t have said it, regretted it as soon as deft fingers dug into his sides, made his breath whoosh out as he tried to swat Robert’s hands away.

“And my mine’s ticklish.” Robert laughed as Aaron bucked against him, until he finally rolled them over, Robert’s hands pinned to the bed. Aaron felt vindicated until he saw that smile beneath him, knew the smug git had wanted them to end up this way. 

He dipped his face into Robert’s neck, licked until he found a spot that had the body beneath him squirming, locked fingers squeezing tight. Robert lifted his legs, caged Aaron in place.

“Favourite song to dance to?” Robert asked as he shifted his hips, mimicked Aaron’s preferred method of movement. He let go of Robert’s hands to brace above him.

“I don’t dance.” He moved to kiss him, speed along this game they were playing. Robert offered his cheek instead, ran his hands lightly down Aaron’s back, pulled him in tight.

“Not even with me?” Robert’s words were like honey, his fingers slipping to tease between his cheeks. Aaron tried to press into it, but Robert’s legs kept him in place.

“Not even with you.” He tried to kiss him again, ended up with lips hitting chin, prickly stubble and not what he wanted. 

“Robert…” He hated how desperate he sounded, his voice hoarse as the fingers dipped, twisted. It was too good, almost right where he wanted him until the pressure was gone and he whimpered.

“You don’t want to dance with me? I’m an excellent dancer.” Robert’s harsh whisper was like a drug. That voice, Aaron would give him anything if he’d just keep talking. Fingers slipped in again, proved Robert’s point when he finally pressed down, had Aaron losing his mind, shaking with it. Aaron ground his dick along the heat of Robert’s, made them both moan.

“Promise you’ll dance with me.” Aaron just kissed him, breathed in that taste, made vows with his tongue that he’d never break. Robert was insistent, nudged Aaron away, removed those beautiful hands. “Promise me.”

“I promise, fuck Robert whatever you want just…” Those legs let him free, had him rising to his knees so he could sink down on that heat and take. 

* * *

**I want more of this feeling - fire and wings.**

**Jean Rhys, Good Morning, Midnight (1939)**

* * *

Two more days, two more nights. They locked out the world and played their game. Robert loved coffee, Aaron preferred tea. Aaron could barely make toast but Robert somehow took the unspoiled contents of Aaron’s fridge and fed them. He sat with his cheek on his palm at his little kitchen table, Robert nattering about Maker knows what, in front of the stove while Aaron envisioned the rest of his life just like this. 

He tried to make Robert watch his favourite movie, _ Rocky Balboa_, but the intro music wasn’t over before they were making out like teenagers. They ended up falling asleep as the credits played, naked and sticky, whispering as if there were other people in the room that might hear.

Robert had a soft snore, the kind Aaron wanted to find annoying but was charmed by instead. Robert wrapped himself around Aaron when they slept, always a little chilly against the heat Aaron gave off. He hummed in the shower. He wrinkled his nose when Aaron talked with food in his mouth. He made Aaron laugh so hard he ached with it.

Eventually Robert made Aaron show him his studio, after much convincing and one hell of a blow job. He’d been there before, that first night, what was there to see?

“Show me where the magic happens, Aaron.” Robert had pulled on his hand, their fingers always linked now. Like letting go would be denying their rightful place. He grumbled in annoyance, told himself it didn’t mean anything, it was just an old converted outbuilding. 

It was dusty in the sunlight creeping through the windows. Robert had to touch everything. Half finished pieces and discarded scraps. He ran his hand over Aaron’s shoulder as he pulled him in.

“You’re amazing.” Robert beamed at him, the kind of light that had Aaron straightening with pride.

“Well this piece isn’t finished; I wish I had something complete to show you.” Aaron enjoyed his work, was thankful that people were willing to pay for it. He wanted Robert to understand it, see the messages Aaron conveyed in metal. It mattered somehow.

“I know your work Aaron. I went to your gallery showing in London last year.” It made Aaron’s heart constrict, had he been there and not known? Had Robert seen him and walked away? 

He tried to untangle their fingers but Robert held fast. Tugged until they were chest to chest.

“It wasn’t like that. It was the last day, you weren't there. I tried to stay away but…” There was regret in his voice and Aaron felt the weight of it. And still how had Robert done it? One look and Aaron would have gone with Robert anywhere, damn anyone who tried to keep them apart. The thought pained him, carved at his insides like a sharp blade.

“It doesn’t matter, you’re here now. With me.” He let Robert kiss him, hold him close and pretend nothing before this had ever existed.

* * *

**I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times… In life after life, in age after age, forever.**

**Rabindranath Tagore, ****Unending Love** ** (1880)**

* * *

Texts from Vic and his mother, and two strongly worded emails from his agent Priya and the bubble would need to burst. They promised this last night before they faced the world together, let reality seep back into their day to day. They were down to the last few beers in the fridge so it was just as well.

They were sitting on the sofa, facing each other, Robert’s feet in Aaron’s lap, an old knitted afghan spread over them. Robert had borrowed joggers that were a bit too short and a hoodie, zipped up just enough to distract Aaron from the conversation they were having. Or trying to have anyway. Aaron was fascinated by the marks against freckled skin, always an urge to stroke his fingers against it. The reminder that this was who he was destined to be with.

“So, I can stay with Victoria for a while I’m sure. At least until…” Robert trailed off, his mind on the logistics but wary of moving too fast. He looked at Aaron sometimes like he was afraid to spook him, that he’d run as he had the night they were bound. 

“You don’t have to get back?” Aaron knew Robert had come from London. He’d said he could work from anywhere but surely he had a home, a life. As much as Aaron wanted to pretend Robert hadn’t lived before him he knew it wasn’t the truth. Had he lived before Robert? It was almost too hard to remember.

“It’s just a rented flat, I haven’t been there long. Hadn’t settled down entirely.” He wiggled his toes and Aaron smiled.

“You’re seriously okay with staying here, in Emmerdale?” It might be Aaron’s home, and even Robert’s once upon a time, but he’d go wherever was asked, wasn’t really a choice in the end. Wherever Robert roamed, Aaron knew he’d follow.

“I’m seriously okay being wherever you are.” Robert stretched his hand out, spread his fingers until Aaron linked them with his own. 

“I don’t want you to settle just because of me.” That was Aaron’s biggest fear, Robert unhappy in the end, because he was stuck now wasn’t he? Stuck with Aaron. A sharp kick to his gut made him wince.

“Aaron, you can’t honestly think that can you?” The concern in Robert’s voice had Aaron retreating, folding in on himself. He didn’t get away with it for long, Robert twisting until he had Aaron trapped beneath him. He did that when he wanted Aaron to hear him, made it so he couldn’t see anything but Robert in his view.

“You, that’s all I want. It’s all I need. Don’t you feel it too?” Robert was so earnest, so open. Aaron did, it was all he felt. Too much and everything, but perfect and right. So he pressed their mouths together, said what he couldn’t say with a kiss because his voice would break. He would break.

“Move in with me.” To Aaron it wasn’t a question, it was a need, the way it should be. He wanted Robert here.

Misty green eyes, smiling full lips and and a whispered, “Yes, please.” Another gift Aaron tucked away in his heart.

* * *

**Though I know I'll never lose affection  
** **For people and things that went before  
** **I know I'll often stop and think about them  
** **In my life I love you more**

**In My Life** ** \- The Beatles (1965)**

* * *

Robert was made for this, sun shining, wind blasting against his face as they sped around the backroads heading to town. He’d insisted on taking his car, a sleek vintage Porsche, and Aaron couldn’t wait to take a turn behind the wheel. For now he was content to enjoy the ride, his hand on Robert’s thigh, Aaron’s choice of music blasting through the speakers.

They were finally going to Register, their appointment booked with the Crown last week, the first thing they’d done after heading back out into the world.

Robert had moved in, a few boxes and suitcases. Aaron had cleaned out the box room, set up a desk and some shelves. It wasn’t much but he wanted Robert to have a place to work, to feel like it was his home too. He’d felt silly until Robert had kissed him in thanks, spread him out over the old desk and made Aaron see stars.

They’d gone to the reopening night of the pub, everyone there to take in the newly Attached pair. His Mum, who was still giving them space for now, hugged Robert like a long lost son before rushing off again to serve up some more pints. 

They’d sat side by side in a booth, random villagers and assorted Dingles popping over to say hello or share a memory of Robert as a child. Aaron had been more than happy to listen to each one, wanted to soak up everything he could. Robert just laughed and joked, his fingers constantly caressing Aaron’s shoulder, Aaron’s knee. Touch was essential with them. It grounded Aaron in a way he didn’t really understand. Like the world could fall down around them and it wouldn’t matter in the slightest.

They had Victoria over for dinner, something spicy and delicious that Robert had made. She had broken up with Gregg, a little sad but all the more determined. She watched her brother and her best friend wistfully, the envy obvious. It made Aaron ache for her, but he couldn’t try to convince her to take the logical path now, not when he knew the possibility that awaited her.

In a few short days his life had become the smell of Robert, the taste of Robert. Falling asleep sated, waking up wrapped up in his entire world. Even his work was flourishing, focused in a way he’d never been before. He’d lose himself to it until Robert tapped on his shoulder with a bottle of water and a waiting kiss.

He was happy. He was content. He was alight.

What he wasn’t was looking forward to Registration. He’d peppered Cain with questions and hadn’t liked what he’d heard. They’d photograph and scan their bond marks, ask personal questions and then make them a part of public record. Aaron didn’t want to share Robert, didn’t want what they had to be simplified by forms and figures. 

They walked into the building hand in hand, checked in and waited to be called. They sat in hard plastic chairs, as Robert clicked away on his mobile. He worked hard and he worked a lot. Aaron made good money from his art, lucky to have a house and studio paid for. He learned quickly it paled in comparison to what Robert had in the bank. Money didn’t mean much to Aaron, it was a necessity of course, but it bought things. Things weren’t something that had ever mattered to him.

Robert had already ordered a lot of said things. Proper cookware and new glasses. A package had arrived the day before, some contraption that resulted in Robert making the best pasta Aaron had ever tasted. He’d told Robert so and had been rewarded with a sweet kiss. Then they’d curled up on the couch, Robert’s laptop between, them looking at furniture. Aaron had scoffed at the prices while Robert had rolled his eyes and pointed out the tattered and lumpy mess they were sitting on. 

Robert wanted to build a home, with Aaron, and he wouldn’t deny him that. Wouldn’t deny him anything. 

“Sugden? Dingle?” A crisp voice belonging to a young woman with a clipboard in hand as she called them. They followed her into a back office, which thankfully had more comfortable seating.

Had either of them been married before Attachment? Children outside of Attachment? They already had a surprising amount of information on them both, which made Aaron somewhat uneasy. He’s not had a lot of interaction with the Crown in his life, but it seemed they had with him.

Finally they were separated, sent to have their markings recorded. A man in a white lab coat checked him over, whistled low when he saw the severity of the black across Aaron’s body. He didn’t say anything though, just checked things off on his clipboard, put Aaron in a machine that swirled around him. He couldn’t wait for this to be over.

Finally clothed again he sat on the offered chair while he watched the clerk type into a computer and swivel slowly back and forth on his wheeled stool.

“Alright, Mr. Dingle we’re almost finished, just one last question. How has your elemental experience been since the Attachment?”

“What do you mean?” Now that Aaron thought about it, the Fire had been almost dormant since the first night in Robert’s arms. He’d been so content, happy, that he hadn’t realized the war he usually had waging inside him had ended. “I guess, calm, more settled?”

More typing, clicks that would tell someone somewhere something worth knowing. 

“Excellent. That seems to be par for the course with Fire Classification but we don’t have a lot of information to work with. Such a rare breed.” He made Aaron feel like cattle, like he should have a brand. He gazed down at the Fire mark on his wrist and realized he already did. “Well that should be all. Given the nature of your Attachment you may be contacted for further research, strictly confidential and voluntary of course.”

Aaron nodded his head. This bloke didn’t need to know that he had no intention of dealing with the Crown more than he had to. He was handed a stack of leaflets, resources for Attachment counselling, legal support and one that had to do with Crown funded child options. Attached couples having and raising children wasn’t just encouraged, it was paid for.

He was antsy to leave, thankful when he got the nod that set him free. He found Robert waiting for him in the lobby, same leaflets tucked under his arm. The smile he shot Aaron’s way calmed him instantly.

“They said we should get our Registration certificate by post next week.” Robert sighed as he brushed his hand across Aaron’s lower back, shuffled them out the glass doors.

“Great, we can frame it and stick it in the bedroom.” Aaron smiled at his own joke, let Robert’s chuckle sweep through him as they linked hands again.

“Only if it goes with the new bedroom colour scheme. I’m thinking fuchsia.” Aaron was certain his laughter could be heard three blocks away.

* * *

**Yeah I'm the one who's gonna show when there's nobody  
** **I'll be your man**

**I’ll be Your Man** ** \- The Black Keys (2002)**

* * *

Teasing Robert was his new favourite thing, especially since the man made it so easy for Aaron to do. They were settled on their new sofa, soft and comfortable, so much so he hadn’t batted an eye as the old one was carted away. Three weeks of Robert and Aaron had a moment of insanity, let Robert pop in Lord Of The Rings into the Blue Ray player. 

“Now it’s not a true reflection of the books, so don’t expect that.” Aaron just rolled his eyes, because yes, he knew they were books but no, he had never attempted to read them. Clearly, Robert had. 

He asked stupid questions about Hobbits and Elves, smiling every time Robert hushed him, pointed at the screen. 

“Well that Rider guy is fit, I’ll give you that.” Aaron dug his hand into the popcorn he insisted was required if he was going to sit through this.

“It’s Strider, well Aragorn actually, and he’s alright.” Robert squirmed a little, pulled Aaron tighter into his side. 

“No, I mean look at that, even the little Hobbits are into him. Bet he could have anyone he wanted in the whole, whatever this place is supposed to be.” Aaron looked up to see Robert clenching his jaw. It was almost too easy.

“Middle Earth, Aaron. It’s called Middle Earth. He’s an important character but he’s not more attractive than Boromir.” Robert’s voice was a little harsh, and well Aaron couldn’t help himself could he?

“No way, look how he rides that horse. Bet he could…” Aaron didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before the popcorn was falling off his lap, replaced by Robert straddling his legs, hands grabbing at his face.

“Don’t like you ogling another man while I’m sitting right beside you, Mr. Dingle.” Robert’s eyes were earnest, only slightly joking. Aaron kissed Robert’s thumb, a small apology.

“But when you’re not beside me it’s perfectly acceptable?” He regretted it instantly, Robert’s fingers digging into his sides, Aaron suddenly unable to breath. He was at a disadvantage, couldn’t get Robert off him, couldn’t stop the laughter that almost hurt. He would have said or done anything to be free. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! I love you! Only you!” Robert relented at Aaron’s words, cupped his face again, thumbs brushed aside the tears of laughter that had slid down Aaron’s cheeks.

Robert didn’t say anything, just filled Aaron’s vision. Was it way too much, way too soon? He’d never been in love before, not with anyone. Maybe this was just the Attachment, maybe love was something else, felt like something else. Yet it had grown since the first time Robert had made Aaron smile, curled inside him just like the black lines up his arms. Robert was his heart, not just his soul. It was fast but it was true, he’d become Aaron’s everything.

“I’m gonna need you to say something, Robert.” He was close to having a mild panic attack at the stunned look on Robert’s face, his fingers still cool and soft on Aaron’s skin.

“You know what I thought the first time I saw you?” Robert’s words were hitched, suddenly the air around them was swirling. Aaron curled his fingers into Robert’s back, held him in place, oddly fearful Robert would float away. “I thought, ‘I’m going to love him for the rest of my life.’ Because I do Aaron. From the first moment I laid eyes on you I did. I just never could have imagined...”

Aaron met Robert halfway, open mouthed and heavy. It wasn’t a kiss to excite or arouse. He wanted Robert to know he wasn’t on his own, not in this, not in anything, not anymore. When Robert pulled away he tucked his face into Aaron’s neck, stayed there for a while. Aaron soothing his hands over every part of Robert he could touch and made a silent promise that the man he loved would never feel alone again.

* * *

**It's always have and never hold  
** **You've begun to feel like home  
** **What's mine is yours to leave or take  
** **What's mine is yours to make your own**

**Look After You** ** \- The Fray (2005)**

* * *

The next day a few boxes arrived, this time things Robert had in storage shipped down from London. They sat on the floor, Robert pulling out photos and mementos from his world travels. He’d been everywhere, climbed mountains and jumped out of airplanes. Aaron couldn’t help but feel like Robert was changing his life entirely just to be with him.

One box held a few leather bound journals that Robert shoved aside, ignored them to instead show Aaron a picture of himself standing on a cliff’s edge. 

“Right after this was taken I jumped into the clearest water you’ll ever see.” Robert sounded far away, memories floating through his head. Aaron wanted to snatch him back, like what was here was so much better. What they had now was what mattered.

“What did that feel like?” Aaron couldn’t help but ask. He’d never been one for dangerous quests, never hunted for exhilaration. He’d spent most of his life squashing that part of himself.

Robert leaned forward, pressed their lips together, from sweet to sinful in the blink of an eye. Aaron chased his bondmate when he pulled back, smiled when Robert’s words brushed against his face.

“Just like that.”

* * *

**But you're changing everything** ****  
**You're changing everything in me** ****  
**And now, now that you're near** ****  
**There's nothing more without you** **  
** **Without you here**

**Without You Here** ** \- Goo Goo Dolls (2006)**

* * *

After four weeks, Aaron’s Mum could no longer be contained. They were going for dinner that night in the back of the pub. If Aaron was nervous than Robert was terrified. There was still much about Robert’s years in Emmerdale that Aaron didn’t know all the facts about. His mother, however, knew everything that had ever gone on in their village.

He left Robert in the house to work on a little something he’d cooked up in his studio. It was silly, really, but he knew it would make Robert smile. Aaron researched it online, the proper wording, cut it out smooth with his torch and had finished welding it just the night before. He wanted to polish it so it was shiny silver, what he knew to be Robert’s preferred aesthetic.

Besides, he was waiting for some new material to be delivered the next day, so it wasn’t like he had anything else to work on. Appeased it was finished, he left it on his work bench. He’d give it to Robert after dinner. The man he loved would deserve a prize if he survived the evening with Chas Dingle.

When he walked in the back door, sweaty and messy, he knew he had just enough time for a quick shower before they headed out. He was full of nervous excitement. Robert and him, they were doing it, blending their families, blending their lives.

The fact was made all the more clear by Robert standing there in just his jeans, ironing a shirt and humming along to some pop song that was blaring through the room. One thing he’d learned was that Robert’s taste in music left something to be desired. 

Robert must have sensed him, turned his head and offered up that smile Aaron always felt in his gut, like he was weightless. Robert set down the iron, made a ridiculous move with his hips as he sauntered Aaron’s way.

“Robert, I’m a mess.” Aaron held his hands out to keep him at bay but it was half hearted at best. He let fingers rest on his bondmate’s waist, welcomed the soft rub of their noses.

The music took that moment to slow, something tragic and melodious. Robert pulled him closer, hooded eyes and sultry voiced. “You owe me a dance, Aaron.”

“You’re really going to use your one dance now? In our kitchen, when I smell like this?” Aaron wondered sometimes about Robert’s romantic sensibilities, even as they made the hairs on his arms stand up, made his heart flutter.

“I happen to like the way you smell.” Oddly, Aaron believed him; his bondmate was a mystery all around sometimes. Aaron rolled his eyes, wrapped his arms around Robert and grumbled something about enjoying it while it lasted because he wasn’t offering up another one.

Aaron wouldn’t call it dancing, more hugging and swaying then anything else. Still Robert pressed their cheeks together, hummed along to the sappy song and made Aaron fall a little deeper in love with him. He’d never admit to anyone that he would have happily stayed like that, shirtless Robert in his arms, stinking of sweat and dirt, for a couple years at least. 

He’d almost told him, almost let the words slip out before a knock at the door interrupted the moment. Aaron pulled free, enjoyed Robert’s pout and patted his arm. 

“That doesn’t count you know! That wasn’t a whole dance!” Robert shouted as Aaron laughed. The music suddenly stopped as he opened the door to find a very classy woman with a very put out face.

“Can I help you?” Aaron figured she was lost, though she looked like she could be one of his art buyers. From her perfectly sleek hair to her shiny high heels she screamed wealth and privilege. She even had a polite smile, outlined in deep red and fake as they came.

“Yes, I’m looking for Robert Sugden.” Even her voice was posh, probably formed in some boarding school her mummy and daddy paid for.

“Chrissie?” Robert sounded horrified, enough to have Aaron turning to see the shocked look on Robert’s face, hands hovering over the shirt buttons he’d forgotten to do up.

The woman walked right by Aaron, into his home like she had the right. The words she spoke had the Fire rearing its head for the first time in weeks.

“There he is, my disappearing fiancé. How are you darling?”

* * *

**If I told you the mess that I can be  
** **When there's no one there to see  
** **Could you look the other way?  
** **Could you love me anyway?**

**If I Told You** ** \- Darius Rucker (2017)**

* * *

“Fiancé?” Aaron whispered, because he had to have heard that wrong. Robert was his, he had the marks to prove it.

“Ex-fiancé. Aaron…” 

“Yes, sorry, I forgot. He walked out of our flat a few weeks ago, left me with a note letting me know it was over. Silly me thinking after almost two years I deserved more than that.” She was venom, it dripped from her, had the Fire wanting to push her out the door, away from the happy little world they’d created.

“Oh he didn’t tell you? Not surprising, Robert has always loved being mysterious. You’re his bondmate are you? Imagine my shock when I saw the line in the Attachment Registry of my morning paper, Robert Jacob Sugden and Aaron Dingle. Didn’t take long to track you down after that.”

She stretched out her perfect hand towards him, as if Aaron would shake it, as if he would touch her. When she realized Aaron wasn’t about to be polite she smiled at him, she knew her hits were meeting their mark with precision.

“I’m a fan of your work, Mr. Dingle. Robert and I attended your gallery show last year. There was one piece I was quite partial to but he convinced me not to purchase it. Funny that, don’t you think?”

Something in Aaron cracked, split open as molten lava spread through his limbs. He curled his hands into fists, ignored the soft sound of his name that escaped Robert’s lips. He refused to look at his bondmate at all.

“I’m sorry, Chrissie was it? Was there something we could help you with?” Aaron kept his voice level, the Fire was snapping in him, ready to rage and defend, ready for war.

“Well, just some unfinished business between Robert and I, would you mind giving us a few moments alone?” Sugary sweet, perfect and poised. She was everything Aaron wasn’t, everything he had never wanted to be.

“Chrissie there’s nothing to…” Aaron could feel Robert’s eyes on him, but this time that voice just made Aaron stiffen even further.

“Of course. Take your time.” Aaron was amazed how calm he sounded, how unaffected. The Fire inside him screamed.

He turned to the door, happy for the escape, needing to get as far from this nightmare as possible.

“Oh Mr. Dingle, before you go, I believe this is yours now.” He instantly regretted looking back, seeing her outstretched hand, Water symbol on her wrist and a glittery diamond engagement ring in her palm. His gaze flicked to Robert then, green eyes filled with panic and regret as they pleaded with him to not walk out, begged him to stay.

Instead, Aaron slammed the door behind him as he left.

* * *

**The Chain** **\- Fleetwood Mac (1977)**

* * *

He ended up at the pub because he didn’t know where else to go. His studio was usually where he went to find solace, but it was too close to Chrissie. Just the thought of her made him seethe. Wasn’t really her fault though was it? If he had lost Robert, would Aaron be any less bitter? Any less devastated?

His Mum was in the back, smile in place until she took in Aaron’s face.

“Who do I have to kill?” she demanded, cradling his face in her hands like she did when he was a boy. One of the few childhood memories he had of her that hadn’t been spoiled by her leaving.

He shook her away, grabbed a beer from the fridge and swallowed half of it before he noticed the table. She’d set it up, three place settings, the dishes she only used for Christmas and birthdays, special occasions. It deflated him somehow, how just a little while ago he’d been excited, nervous but excited to share how happy he was with her.

Suddenly he couldn’t stop the tears, his body shaking, the Fire in him nowhere to be found. He was lost without it, without Robert. He didn’t have anything to keep him from drowning.

His Mum wrapped her arms around him, shuffled him to the couch as she crooned to him. It was like being 16 all over again, feeling adrift, not knowing where he belonged in the world. The loneliness. There was no Old Man Forrest to tell him what to do this time.

Eventually he was able to get out what happened, how he’d left Robert with the woman he had planned to marry, who he’d wanted to marry before the choice had been taken away from him.

“Aaron, you don’t know that. Didn’t she say he ended it before coming back? You don’t know the full story.” Maybe he didn’t, but it felt wrong, Robert willing to tie himself to another when he knew Aaron was here all along.

“He came back because of Vic, Mum. He knew I was his bondmate five years ago when he saw me at Jack’s funeral. Just like I knew he was mine the minute he walked into the room. I know it doesn’t make sense but it’s true. Why didn’t he just stay away?” 

“Aaron, just because people make decisions we don’t understand or mistakes that hurt doesn’t mean they don’t love you. It doesn’t mean you aren’t what they want.” He knew she was talking about herself. She’d told him time and time again how much she regretted abandoning him, thinking she was making the right choice by leaving him with the father who he had adored.

How was she to know that his Dad would turn cold the minute she walked out the door? That he would resent the constant reminder of the woman who had left? Gordon may have used Aaron’s Fire Classification as the reason he sent Aaron away but he knew deep down his Dad was just happy to finally have an excuse.

“There is only one thing I know for certain, Aaron.” It was a whisper, her eyes full of so much emotion it hurt to look at her. “From the moment I held you the first time I knew you were mine, had always been mine. Every lifetime that came before, any lifetime I am lucky to have in the future. You’re my boy, always, and I wouldn’t choose it any other way.” 

* * *

**When I hear your voice everything I've done disappears from memory**   
**Oh my darling come and save me**   
**Tell me I'm the one you're dreaming of**

**Wishing That** **\- Jann Arden (1997)**

* * *

They’d had dinner in the end, just him and his Mum. They didn’t talk much, he didn’t know what to say. He put it off as long as he could until he had to head back or stay the night on the couch in the pub. 

The short walk home felt like miles. The house was dark, but he saw light from his studio. He felt the Fire flicker awake, happy that Robert was within reach again.

He found him sitting in an old folded camp chair, eyes fixed on the gift Aaron had made for him. He didn’t look at Aaron and it hurt, everything hurt.

“Did you make that for me?” Robert sounded mystified, as if Chrissie hadn’t given him so much more, better, things worth more money than Aaron would dare spend.

“It was a stupid idea.” Because it felt stupid now. Just a new fireplace screen, one with dumb Elvish lettering like that movie Robert loved. So that the fire would glow through it, illuminate the design, a secret message that only they would know. It was nothing but sentiment.

“What does it say?” Robert stood, looked at him finally. The Fire ached to soothe him, calm the fear that filled the room, reach out to the Air floating nearby.

“What I thought the first time I saw you, what I think every time I look at you.” Aaron would be truthful, even if it killed him.

Robert went to step forward but thought better of it, shoved his hands in his pockets. “What does it say, Aaron?” And he couldn’t deny that voice anything, had always been powerless against it.

_“Mine.”_

Aaron barely had the word out before Robert rushed forward, wrapped him in those arms, pressed his face into Aaron’s neck and held him tight. The Fire crooned but Aaron couldn’t bring himself to lift his arms and hold him back, no matter how much he wanted to.

“I swear I ended it before I came here, had wanted to end it for a while. You have to believe me.” The words were muffled in Aaron’s ear. “Please believe me.” He squeezed Aaron tighter, felt the Air reaching for him, it’s frustration at being denied.

“Okay.” He didn’t know what else to say. This was his bondmate, being without Robert wasn’t an option. Aaron just wasn’t sure how to be with him now, not when Robert had wanted another life, maybe always would.

Robert shifted, his hands lifting to cup Aaron’s face but he pulled away. He couldn’t, he just couldn’t. Robert would undo him, he’d fall apart.

“I’m going to bed, it’s been a day yeah.” Aaron hoped Robert would give him this, let him walk away for now. He got a nod and turned away, didn’t wait to see if he was followed. He locked the bathroom door and showered, let the Fire rage under the hot spray until the water started to run cold.

He toweled off for far too long, made his way to their bedroom and slid naked under the covers behind Robert. Even with his back to Aaron he could feel his bondmate’s pain, the ache of separation. The Fire took control then, moved his limbs until he was pressed along the length of the man he loved. He wrapped an arm around him, thankful when their fingers linked together and Robert squeezed.

“I love you, Aaron. I love you so fucking much.” It floated in the night, the Fire purred and the Air settled. Aaron just held on tight, his throat too thick to speak, until sleep finally came.

* * *

**I’m Yours** ** \- The Script (2008)**

* * *

Aaron woke before Robert, the man sprawled over him like always. He slid away gingerly, dressed in the quiet and made himself a cup of tea to brood over. 

They would have to talk, they would have to hash it out. Like it or not they were Attached. They wouldn’t survive separation, them together, it was necessary. The Fire hissed it’s disagreement, it was more than that. It was finally being where they belonged.

It meant asking questions he didn’t want the answers to. It was opening himself up to being only what Robert needed, not what he wanted. Maybe in time, but would that just be the part of himself that he couldn’t control? Did Robert wage with the Air, push at his element like Aaron did?

Maybe it’d all been too easy. Maybe he’d let himself get caught up in the initial euphoria of their Attachment. Maybe this was how it was always going to be.

The sound of shuffling feet had him looking up from his mug. Robert looked like Aaron felt, shaken and lost. He watched him sit in the chair across the table, pull at the T-shirt Aaron had never seen him wear before.

“Can we talk?” Robert was so earnest, so sincere that he could only nod in agreement. He braced himself, knew he wouldn’t like what he was about to hear.

“I met Chrissie overseas. We sort of happened. We got along, she was impressive. The people she knew, her connections.” 

“Did you love her?” Aaron had to ask, he had to know.

“Yeah, I did, in a way. It was easy, there was no expectation, no monumental thing like Attachment hanging over our heads. We got engaged because it was the next logical step.” Robert rubbed his hands together, his gaze never leaving the table. “I had convinced myself you weren’t who I thought you were. That I could never belong like that to someone like you.”

Aaron’s cup smacked loudly on the table, made them both jump.

“Someone like me? You mean a Yorkshire lad who gets messy for a living? Who is happy in his simple and unimpressive life?” It was every fear he had, laid out on the table, broken and bleeding in front of them both. Robert tried to grasp at his hand but Aaron moved it out of reach, crossed his arms instead.

“No Aaron, I knew all about you from Vic. How kind and funny you are, how talented you are as an artist. You are my sister’s favourite person, this passionate Fire that she thinks the world of. My own father didn’t want me, how could I ever imagine that you would?” The Fire glowed in Aaron, wanted him to believe it, to hear what the Air was saying. He ignored it.

“Once we were engaged Chrissie wanted to make plans but I couldn’t. All I thought about was you, what it could be like, what I wanted it to be like, with us. When Vic told me she was going to settle with Gregg it just hit me, that’s what I was doing. I was settling for what was there instead of chasing what I wanted, what I could have. I’d spent years running from it and I didn’t want to anymore. I left and I never looked back. I don’t want to look back, nothing matters before you and me.” 

“And what if you’d been wrong, what if we’d touched and nothing had happened? What if I was just some guy? Would you have gone back to her?” Aaron knew the answer didn’t matter, not really, there wasn’t a time that they hadn't belonged together, belonged to each other.

“Then I would have done everything in my power to charm you. Asked you out on a date. Hope you’d be stupid enough to fall in love with me too.” Their eyes met, locked for a moment before Aaron looked away.

“What did she want?” Aaron needed to know that Robert was done with Chrissie, that it was really over.

“To shout at me honestly. Then she simply wished me happiness in our Attachment. I doubt I’ll ever speak to her again.” Robert sounded definite but Aaron wasn’t so sure.

“Look, I’ve got to spend the day in my studio; I have that delivery coming and it’ll take a while to sort it out.” It wasn’t a lie, not entirely. He wasn’t normally so meticulous but he needed time to think, to figure it all out.

He rose from the table, Robert grabbing his hand as he passed. “Are we okay?” Robert was always so open, a book Aaron could read from across the room. He was worried, but Aaron was too. 

So he denied Robert the truth for the first time.

“Yeah, we’re okay.”

* * *

**Keep a little fire burning; however small, however hidden.**

**Cormac McCarthy, The Road (2006) **

* * *

Two days Aaron got away with not thinking about it. He worked all day in his studio, collapsed into an exhausted heap in bed every night, long after Robert had gone to sleep. Even the Fire could hardly put up much of a fight anymore.

Robert had been cautious, asking Aaron if he was hungry and accepting grumbles in reply. By the third day it seemed even Robert’s patience had a breaking point.

Aaron was up on a ladder, wiping the large studio windows near the roof. He wasn’t sure they’d ever been cleaned before, he never remembered seeing Forrest ever do it. He had convinced himself that it just needed to be done, that he wasn’t avoiding Robert or the way Robert made him feel. Until he heard the shout of his name and turned his head to see the face that was tearing him up inside.

“I’m going to have lunch with Vic. Maybe go into town and pick up a few things. Do you need anything?” His eyes were earnest, hopeful. It twisted something in Aaron’s stomach, how much he cared about the man, how much he meant.

“No, thanks.” The Fire whined and snapped in frustration, clawed at him from inside. He should have looked away, gone back to his task but he couldn’t. He’d missed that face so much.

Robert just sighed and rubbed at his hair, finally looking up, hard eyed and frustrated. “Right, because what could you possibly want from me?” Then he spun around, not bothering to shut the door behind him. 

Aaron gave up, climbed down the rungs and looked around his studio. It had never been so clean; it had never felt less like home. He’d always been able to come here, use his torch to work out his problems. He hadn’t been able to create in days, every time he turned on the gas all he saw was Robert’s face. The way he smiled, the way he laughed. The ridiculous way he’d danced in the kitchen before that fateful knock on their door.

With Robert gone he made his way back into the house. He was hungry, avoiding Robert had meant avoiding food as well. The bizarre pasta machine was just sitting on the counter, mocking him. It didn’t belong here. Robert didn’t belong here. He should be with Chrissie, making connections, going to fancy parties. He should be laughing and drinking expensive wine at galleries, critiquing the art, not trapped in an Attachment to the artist.

He grabbed a beer and headed to the box room, now Robert’s makeshift office. Robert had probably left behind something spacious in that flat in London, sweeping city views. Now he was stuck with a small window that looked at nothing but an overgrown hedge. 

Aaron saw attempts of him making it his own. There was a photo of some mountain range in a frame beside his laptop, books arranged neatly on the shelves. He looked at the titles, ones he’d never heard of except for the occasional thriller or the stupid Hobbit books. His eyes strayed to the few leather bound journals. 

It was an invasion of privacy for sure, but it didn’t stop him from picking one up, flipping through the pages. They were just handwritten scribbles, no dates, he almost closed it until something caught his attention, his name.

_ Aaron, I jumped out of my first airplane. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. But for the first time in months I had a few moments where I didn’t think about you. It made me hopeful, maybe one day I can let you go. _

Aaron rubbed his fingers over the words, flipped to pages at random, bewildered by what he read.

_ Vic emailed me a photo, you and her arm in arm. I have stood on mountain tops and watched the sunset but you’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. _

_ I took a cooking class today. My pasta wasn’t too bad, though I think the instructor was disappointed. But I’ll get better, I promise when I cook for you it’ll be the best thing you ever taste. _

_ I thought I saw you in a museum this morning, for a moment I couldn’t breathe. Then I realized I haven’t breathed in years. Not really. _

_ I wonder if I’ll ever get to sit by a fire, read a book with you snuggled beside me. I daydream of us in a little house, somewhere tucked away from the rest of the world. You’d probably find it boring but to me it’d be heaven. _

Aaron dropped the book, let it fall to the floor as he grabbed the next one, searched the pages.

_ Vic told me today about your friend dying, how heartbroken you are. I ache for you. I hate that you’re in pain and I can’t take it away. I would give anything to be the person who could make you happy, Aaron. To be able to comfort you. To be worthy of you. _

_ I’m tired of always moving, going from one place to the next. But every time I stop I get suffocated with the thought of you. _

_ I met someone, and maybe, maybe this time will be the time I don’t leave them for the memory of you. _

He dropped the book and grabbed the last one, it was newer than the others, less worn.

_ I want to hate you sometimes, Aaron. I want to yell and scream at you. Why can’t you just leave me in peace? _

_ Yesterday was your birthday. I drank too much whisky and blacked out. Just like last year. _

_ Chrissie forced me to go to your gallery show. It was only when she assured me you wouldn’t be there that I allowed myself to join her. Aaron, your work - it’s amazing. I know I don’t have the right but I’m so proud of you. She wanted to buy a piece. She wanted to hang it in our dining room. I lied and said I hated it, convinced her it wouldn’t fit with our decor. I couldn't handle having a piece of you near me everyday, not when I want it all. I still avoid that room in the flat now, even the idea of you lives in there. _

_ When will I stop feeling you in everything? _

When Aaron got to the last page he could barely read it through the tears, his hands shaking.

_ I hope you’ll forgive me, I can’t do it anymore. I can’t stay away. You deserve more, you deserve it all but you’re left with me. The emptiness is killing me, the place where you’re supposed to be. I have to know for certain but I promise you if I’m right I’ll do everything I can to make sure you never regret being loved by me. Because I know I’ll never regret loving you. _

All that time Robert had fought against their connection, not because he didn’t want it, but because he didn’t feel worthy of it. Just like Aaron didn’t feel good enough for Robert, like he would never have anything Robert would want. It wasn’t just the connection, it wasn’t just the Fire in Aaron that craved the Air in Robert, it was so much more than that.

It was the way he made Aaron laugh. It was the way Robert took care of him. It was the way he held Aaron’s hand whenever he could. How he kissed Aaron like there was no better thing in the world.

Robert wasn’t just Air to Aaron, and hopefully Aaron could be more than just Fire to Robert.

* * *

**The cracked bells and washed-out horns  
** **Blow into my face with scorn, but it’s  
** **Not that way, I wasn’t born to lose you**

**I Want You** ** \- Bob Dylan (1966)**

* * *

Aaron sat on the sofa and waited for Robert to come home. He ached for Robert, always had. He probably always would. He went over and over in his head what he would say, how he would apologize, beg if need be. All those plans went out the window when Robert walked through the door and froze when he saw Aaron sitting there. The Air rippled through the room and he couldn’t help but smile. Robert widened his eyes, uncertainty evident but still lit with joy at seeing Aaron’s smiling face. The Fire danced in his stomach.

_ We were made for him. _

“I’m so sorry, Robert.” He stood then, thankful when Robert moved to him, pressed their foreheads together. In that moment Aaron felt like he had just a few short days ago, solid and certain.

“I’m sorry, Aaron, for everything.” His words whispered across Aaron’s face as hands clutched at his waist, pulled him closer still. 

“You don’t have to apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve been the brave one in all of this. I found your journals, I read some of them. I hope you’ll forgive me.” This was the part Aaron was the most worried about. He hadn’t had permission to read Robert’s deepest thoughts, even if they’d been of him.

Robert pulled back, searched Aaron’s face, but said nothing. He pulled Robert down on the sofa, knees touching, fingers still intertwined.

“My whole life I’ve felt at odds with who I am. Being Fire automatically made me different than anyone else so I tried to push that part of me aside. When that stopped working, I tried to find a way to control it. To me Fire was this thing inside me, not who I am. Does that make sense?” 

Robert squeezed his fingers into Aaron’s and nodded for him to continue.

“The moment I saw you all the Fire wanted was to be with you. It’s happy and content because of you, it’s complete because of you. What I realized today is that the Fire and I are one and the same, it’s a part of me just like Air is a part of you. The Fire wasn’t happy, I was happy, because you make me that way. You make me feel safe to be all the parts of myself, even the parts that I don’t like. You make me proud to be Fire for the first time in my life.”

He lifted his hand to Robert’s cheek, sighed when Robert turned to kiss his palm.

“When Chrissie showed up it just fed my fear that you didn’t want me, that you stayed away all those years because Robert didn’t want Aaron. Air wanted Fire, I was just a byproduct. And it hurt because I love you so much. Every part of me loves every part of you and it scared me to think…”

But Robert was shushing him, kissing his hands, kissing the tears from his cheeks, sliding their lips together. Aaron felt it, that contentment, that understanding, that piece that was them locking firmly back into place.

* * *

**Power Over Me** ** \- Dermot Kennedy (2019)**

* * *

Aaron was never going to replace this sofa. They would have it in 50 years. He didn’t care if Robert moaned when it when out of style. The springs could stick out of it, the fabric could tear but he’d never get rid of it. Not when he was the happiest he’d ever been, half naked and smiling with a heaving Robert under him as they sprawled out across it.

“So, we’re really good at making up.” Because of course Robert had to make it even better and get Aaron to laugh. He kissed his favourite spot on Robert’s neck and linked their hands together.

“I was thinking I’m going to call one of those counselling services the Registry recommended. I don’t know if it will help but it can’t hurt, right?” Aaron knew that he still had some things to work out, when it came to Fire, that part of him, well it wasn’t all settled. He didn’t want to risk losing this, losing Robert just because he couldn’t get out of his own way.

“Whatever you want Aaron, whatever you need, I’ll be here.” 

They laid there a while longer, the windows darkened as hands ran up and down his back, lulled him towards sleep. 

“I love you too, just so we’re clear, every part of you.” Robert’s voice, as always, gave Aaron more than he’d ever deserve.

Aaron lifted his head, and all he saw was his entire world, green and endless. “I’m not dancing with you again, no matter how much you sweet talk me.”

* * *

**There aren’t many people today who haven’t heard the name Aaron Sugden-Dingle. From his 30 plus year art career, to his work with the Forrest Fire Organization (FFO), the youth charity he started with his husband Robert over two decades ago, he is well known to most in the United Kingdom. This year the Mr. Sugden-Dingles auctioned off some of their private collection of Aaron’s sculptures to raise money for the new FFO Halfway House in South London. When asked about why he waited until last night before releasing these pieces to the public, Aaron was upfront about how much his work means to him. “This collection holds a special part of my soul. Whether inspired by my husband, our children or my own struggles along the way, it had to be the right reason to let it go. The Halfway House is important to me and my family, and the perfect excuse to clear out some clutter.” When I was able to speak to Robert Sugden-Dingle, the Chair of FFO, and Aaron’s bondmate of over 25 years, on how the evening was progressing he was all smiles. “I hope we raise a lot of money for a good cause, but more importantly I might be able to convince my husband to dance with me.”**

**45 lucky collectors walked away with rare glimpses into Aaron Sugden-Dingle’s life and over 3.2 million pounds was raised for charity. **

**Those interested in learning more about the Forrest Fire Organization and their work with at risk youth can do so at www.FFO.uk.crown**

**Genevieve King, ** **London Daily News** ** (October 5, 2046)**

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Credit for all the amazing artwork in this story goes to [@spamela-hamderson](https://spamela-hamderson.tumblr.com/). It was a true honour to have her create such amazing things from this little world I thought up. Please go to Tumblr and give her some much deserved love, she is a treasure.  
You can view all her pieces [here](https://spamela-hamderson.tumblr.com/post/189465305536/emmerdale-big-bang-3-breath-of-ember-ao3-by), [here](https://spamela-hamderson.tumblr.com/post/189465306456/emmerdale-big-bang-3-breath-of-ember-ao3-by) and [here](https://spamela-hamderson.tumblr.com/post/189465307211/emmerdale-big-bang-3-breath-of-ember-ao3-by).
> 
> Personal thanks to @peoplediedrobert and @illgetmerope for editing, listening and offering advice. I appreciate you both very much.
> 
> It's been a rough few months for the fandom so hopefully this made some of you smile. Thank you for taking the time to read it.
> 
> [@some-mad-lunge](https://some-mad-lunge.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr. Come say hi!


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